OK, I know I said sex toy testing may be my favorite part of my job - butt (pun intended) January's award season ranks pretty high up on my list as well. I get to go to award shows that are jam-packed with beautiful people, see friends that I don't see that often, and, if I'm lucky, get to hold an award.
Did I also mention the bare buns?
It's funny because when I go to the restroom during award shows, it's often like walking into a sexy sorority. The gorgeous, and extremely tall, actress next to me smiled at me and said, "Look at my new baby boobs. I just got them in November. So they are babies."
I wasn't sure if I was more delighted by her exotic European accent or her so-called baby boobs.
"Well," I smiled back. "Your baby boobs are beautiful. And, they are big for being babies."
"They are still hard," she pouted.
"Um, uh," I wasn't sure what response she was looking for. "How hard are they?"
"Feel. Just feel," she thrust her chest in my direction as I finished toweling off my freshly washed hands.
And then I grabbed her boobs. She was right. They were kind of hard.
"They're nice," I lied.
"Thank you," she purred.
"You should feel mine," Nope. That wasn't me talking. This was another tall, gorgeous woman with hot pink hair no less.
Ten minutes later when I exited the restroom... slightly flustered and smiling the biggest, dumbest smile, my friends looked concerned.
"You took forever. Are you all right?"
"Oh yasss. I was feeling boobs. Lots of boobs," I sighed.
"Uh, it's not like that in the guy's restroom."
"I bet it's not," me. Still smiling. "Shall we find our seats?"
And so we made our way to Table 41 to enjoy the XBIZ Awards Show. There were winners, nominees, sexy acts, crying, smiling, celebrating, and a large bottle of Grey Goose vodka as the centerpiece of our table. Nice ;-)
Clap, clap, yell, shout, cheers! Repeat. For at least an hour. Maybe more. My mind kept drifting back to the restroom. Did I have to pee again? Should I just go pee again?
And then, I stood up... and they called our names!
"How did you know we were going to win?!"
"Uh... I didn't. I was going to the restroom," me. Blushing to a deep shade of red.
Yes, I did wear Converse with my sequin dress.
So I didn't go to the restroom. I just cuddled with our award all night. My co-worker was great about it. He understood. It was shiny.
And so the evening ended and we mingled in the lobby sharing kisses and congratulations!